“It’s not all affirmations is it?” I ask her, cynicism oozing from every pore. She patiently, valiantly holds back even the suggestion of a sigh. “No, it’s not all about affirmations.” (There are some affirmations involved, in actual fact but they aren’t the ‘I am Beautiful, I am Strong’ sort that you do in the mirror.) “I just feel like I need to do something about my life, you know? But I don’t want to do therapy. I don’t want to do something self-indulgent and endless like therapy, I just want to, I don’t know, change something. My attitude maybe…” I ramble, prattle, stumble on (a bit like my life, really) until she – to my relief – stops me. Kindly, firmly, she is not a fan of wasting precious time.
In truth I would never in a million years have bought Alexia’s book had I not known her (a positive, joyful, bubbly, sharp girl) in school. I’ve never before bought a self-help book and I doubt I ever will again. It’s not that I have anything against them or even that I think they can’t help me, it’s just that I feel I don’t really have enough time to read them. When I first happened to see on my social media feed the title of her book (‘Clear Your Head Trash: How To Create Clarity, Peace & Confidence in Your Life & Work’) some part of me bolted upright. (Alexia explains in the book that that tends to happen, when you have a lot of it – headtrash that is.) It just instinctively appealed to me. I’m a decluttering freak (which, to anyone that knows the first thing about psychology, is a giveaway sign of a messy inside of head) and I wanted to declutter my mind too. To lose some of that weighty, annoying, useless rubbish that resides there.
I’m not confident with phones, I don’t like to speak on them, it’s almost a phobia. But there was no other way. I took the plunge and booked the Clearance Kick Start. I knew I had so much mess in my head that I wouldn’t get anywhere with just one session, so I took a leap of faith. From the first minute of the first call, Alexia made sure we hit the ground running. No procrastinating, no time filling or dithering, she took the lead and made sure that the sessions were productive and fast moving – even in the face of my being an indecisive wreck prone to philosophising. She’s convinced of her product, convinced that her method works. And I think she might be right. The four talks we had were revealing, refreshing, enlightening, emboldening. They made my head spin with new ideas. They gave me a fascinating, unexpected bucketload of insight into how I actually took life, what emotions ruled me, how I saw myself and how I wanted to be, think and act – as opposed to how I did. I got overwhelmed with emotion, utterly out of the blue. I got goosebumps, a lot. I had lightbulb moments. I squirmed and she – unflinchingly, kindly – led me through the squirming, without fuss or drama. We laughed a lot, and it wasn’t because we were once, as teenagers, mates. Just talking to Alexia energises you, makes you realise anything is possible. If the least that happened was that some of her good attitude to life rubbed off on me I’d have been happy.
Alexia showed me how to use her Headtrash Clearance Method and I definitely saw some big shifts, particularly when I actually did the homework rather than telling her that my dog had eaten it. I learnt a vast amount about myself and my attitudes and, more importantly, got to work on squeezing the power out of the negative bits, neutralising the awful hold they’d had over me. Some traumas I hadn’t even realised I had were cleared, my belief system was reset and I now – thanks to the work we did – get substantially less riled up by things that had used to send me off in an angry, over-dramatising spin. One of the things we discussed was retaining the passion you have about things without being so passionate about them that you end of ranting, rather than bringing about any real change. That resounded with me and made me rethink how I approached things, now I’m much more constructive and don’t fall into the ‘ranting trap’ – or at least not quite as often.
Alexia is super quick on the uptake – she grasps what you are trying to put into words even as it’s just the beginnings of a fog in your mind and before you can properly articulate it, it’s uncanny. There’s something magical about the process, but you kind of have to do it to experience it – it’s like stuff shifts in your outlook, that’s the best way I can put it. And the repercussions of that shift (that’s the really magical bit) are far reaching. Alexia is super direct, shockingly so at times, and also very, very irreverent, with a silly, wicked, spontaneous sense of humour. She’s fantastic to talk to – someone you could tell your deepest, darkest secrets to without you blinking an eye. Without you even realising you need to blink an eye. She makes talking about personal, private stuff feel natural, easy. Whatever you tell her she doesn’t judge (which is handy as it sort of influences you to stop judging yourself), she just works with you to see how you can move on from the point that you are at, how you can kill the ghosts of your past and move on in life unencumbered. Because really, dwelling on stuff is pretty exhausting and letting it go and clearing your head out is pretty liberating, I thoroughly recommend it.